From Father Varghese’s Desk
Recently I came across an insightful article that asked a question many of us have likely pondered: “Is it gossip to share news or concerns about co-workers, friends, or family with my spouse— or is this simply a way to seek comfort and understanding?”
The authors, a married couple, wisely noted that it is natural—and even healthy—for spouses to confide in one another. After all, part of the sacred bond of marriage is being able to share life’s burdens and blessings together. Yet they cautioned that we must be mindful not to let such conversations drift into gossip or uncharitable speech. They offered six thoughtful questions to help discern the difference:
- Does the matter involve me personally? If the news isn’t about you, perhaps it’s best left unsaid.
- What is my motivation for sharing this information? Am I seeking advice and understanding—or simply venting frustration?
- What effect will my words have on my spouse’s perception of another? No one is entirely bad; be fair and balanced when discussing others.
- If the tables were turned, would I want this to be said about me? The Golden Rule always applies.
- Might sharing this information help protect others from harm? Sometimes speaking up is an act of prudence and compassion.
- If the topic is legitimate, do we keep it private between us? Confidentiality honors both charity and trust.
These guidelines remind us that words have great power—power to heal or to harm, to build up or to tear down. Our conversations, especially within marriage, should be rooted in love, respect, and a sincere desire for one another’s good. When we speak with compassion and discernment, even difficult discussions can become moments of grace and growth. Perhaps the best way to approach such moments is to pause and pray: “Lord, may my words today bring light, healing, and peace. Guard my heart from judgment, and teach me to speak with love.”
Have a Good Week and God Bless,
Father Varghese
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